How to Deal with the Terror of Reaching Out For Emotional Support

9 min readFeb 8
Is it safe to reach out for emotional support? Photo by Pete Longworth

If you have difficulty reaching out for emotional support when you’re in the darkness, there are some support suggestions at the end of this article.

I get off the computer at 7:20 pm and I’m spent. It’s been a ten-hour day, again, and I can’t wait to just turn off and relax into the no-thingness. I don’t notice that I need emotional support from another human — not yet.

Then I notice on my calendar that I have a webinar at 8pm. In forty minutes. F*ck.

I need to cook dinner for myself and my son. There’s just enough time to do that, catch up on two days of dishes, and show up for the webinar.

I can do it.

As I cook, clean, and notice what’s arising in my body I realised that dropping into this webinar — which I’m attending as a participant with a male facilitator that I highly rate — is exactly what I need.

That last call has brought a lot up for me, compounded by the sheer amount that I’m holding, and I can feel it’s triggered old trauma in my body.

I need emotional support

I can plug my nervous system into his, co-regulate, and get a solid transmission of the entrepreneur energy he transmits. Oh, this is perfect.

By the time 8pm rolls around I’m excited, and so ready to drop into this space and just be HELD.

I’m a few minutes late signing into the webinar, and confused when Zoom tells me the meeting hasn’t started yet.

I glance back down at my calendar.

Wednesday 8 pm.

F*ck. It’s Tuesday 8 pm.

In my shattered haze, I misread the calendar. No webinar after all. No nervous system regulation. No being held by a man.

No emotional support from being in a group container with a skilled facilitator.

I walk away from my computer in a daze and slump down beside my bed.

I really need holding right now.

That’s the truth of it.


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